Denim WTF: Backtacular “Crack” Adhesive Patch

by Jaime on April 24, 2010

How do things like this come into existence? I was just hanging out on my day off, catching up on my Geekologie (FYI, Geekologie tends to be a bit NSFW. I like offensive humor… if you don’t, I’d avoid clicking on that link), and then I found these:

These are an “invention” made for the sole purpose of covering your crack when you’re wearing LOW low rise jeans. It gives a whole new meaning to tramp stamp (the brand also makes sparkly straps for your bra… which aren’t as bad, but still pretty heinous).

Ladies, here’s my tip of the day: if you have to purchase $15 crack patches, your jeans are TOO LOW. If I ever seen any of you wearing these, I will do two things:

1. Rip them off your skanky tush and paste them on your face.
2. Post pictures on DD of you wearing them – both on your crack and on your face – along with your name and email address so we can all judge and criticize you until you NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

So, keep your anonymity. Don’t wear things made exclusively for hookers (and possibly Playboy Bunnies).

This has been a Denim Public Service Announcement, brought to you by


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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Jessica July 26, 2010 at 3:19 pm

There are no words. Sigh…


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